You know how long it’s been since I’ve put anything on here? Exactly the number of days to make me forget my login. Thankfully, I have a grand total of 3 passwords floating out there, so it wasn’t hard to hack back into my own account.
Since we’ve last spoke, I’ve turned 25. Yes, that may be the most exciting thing that has happened in the past 5 months. It narrowly beat out brushing my teeth daily, feeding myself, and PREPARING FOR THE TREK IN TORRES DEL PAINE! Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so aggressive. I was just desperately trying to remind
myself people out there that I am an interesting person.
Usually, a birthday post calls for something along the lines of “what I’ve learned” or “everything that happened during my last age was awesome.” Instead, for tonight, I will be performing the “I ain’t got no more time for this shit.” I hope you enjoy.
Shit I don’t have time for
1. That thing where I feel like I should be doing something else instead of what I actually feel like doing.
2. Taking shit from people.
3. Giving excessive chances to people.
4. Not doing something because no one else is tagging along. Especially if said thing is a coupley activity. Like pumpkin/apple picking. Upside: no one to be embarrassed of me when I fight a small child for the best pumpkin.
5. Drinking excessively, causing a 4-day hangover that I’m still fighting.
6. Not thinking I’m hot shit. Because I am. (Also, people who don’t think I’m hot shit. They obviously have poor taste.)
7. Thinking I’m hot shit all the time. I’m maybe a warm shit at best… well, I’m definitely warmer than lukewarm.
8. Being so emotional on the blog about cheesy shit.
9. Wasting money on shit I don’t need. Recent indulgences include an alarm clock that mimics the sunrise. Who the fuck thinks about buying this shit? Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely been helping my early mornings, now that winter is coming, but still.
10. Stop saying shit
Shit I should probably do, maybe, if I want to be a functional adult*
1. Reach out to others. I was home alone for about 3 weeks and by the end of it, everything was falling apart. Maybe I should actually get friends that live within 100 miles of me.
2. Figure out why people are automatically taking a certain amount of money from your account each month… and who they are. Is this legal?
3. I’m back to being a hot shit.
4. Do more than stare blankly at the TV during free time. Heck, maybe I’ll go as far as saying actually watching the show you’re staring at when you’re staring blankly at the TV.
5. Be less terrible about confrontation. Normal people call this “having an opinion and talking about it.”
6. Find that balance that all comedians have between self-hatred and hysterically funny.
7. Continue planning shit in advance. Use that goddamn planner you spent $40 on.
8. Buy a new planner. Maybe don’t use it as a journal also.
9. Put more intentional things on the blog. Emotional things that actually matter. While we’re on the whole blog thing, figure out what to put on the blog. Yeah, let’s start there.
*side note: do I really want to be one though?
Some random things that happened during the 5 months that I left out because I was trying to be funny: I got a motorcycle, I got a second job, and I lost 20 pounds. Man, where does the time go? (Now that I’m 25, I can officially use older-people phrases!)
A birthday post just isn’t the same without a self-indulgent photo. So here it is! Does it scream “I’m 25 and thriving” or is it more like “This is completely posed and everything is falling apart. SOS”?
If there’s anyone out there still reading, how have you been?