Originally, I planned this as three separate articles… but it was step 1 in the “How to Lose Readers Rapidly” manual so I decided to spare you.
When you hear people say it’s not bad and they enjoyed the process, coming out all nice and clean with beautiful radiant skin… they’re lying to your fat face. Sure, you might feel that way at the end of day 3… under 5 tons of layers screaming at you to get some real food in you quick oh my god can you eat all the cravings?!
I’ve never been that person who goes to bed early because I just wanted the day to end… but during this cleanse, I was that person.
I also contemplated on multiple occasions during the cleanse of just skipping the juice and going for straight starvation.
I swear I’m not this whiny normally. Or antsy. Or so unable to complete a challenge. Example: despite being a heavy meat eater (that’s both heavy in meat-eating habits and in physical description), I challenged myself to become strict vegetarian for a whole month just to see what would happen. Completed that easily. This? I was faltering by the end of day 1.
As you all know, I’ve been interested (read: needing) a juice cleanse for a while now. The most promising one looked like the BluePrint Cleanse but as a recent graduate with a ton of student loans and no job, I couldn’t afford the staggering $60 a day.
So, I turned to the blogs for help. And I found so many DIY recipes for your own cleanse. Like this one blogger who turned to blogging only for the cleanse and never more. This really intimidating health guru. And this cute little blog that I’m definitely returning to!
With the little brother in tow, I headed to the local hub for cheap produce. The total for a day’s worth of produce (and a few one-time buys) came out to be $25. Days 2 and 3 were about $20 each so, for the price of one day’s worth of actual BPC, I got 3 day’s worth. Much more manageable!
Thankfully, my mom already owns a juicer and I got to work.
This is how much goes into a day’s worth of green juice:
I poured the result in this huge Naked bottle.
I’ve always thought that it wasn’t possible for any combination of greens to get this green. But it was like the Forest Green in the Crayola collection. So green. Did I mention it was green?
I tried a little of it before going to bed because I just couldn’t wait to see what it tastes like! I think next time, I’m going to use less lemon—it kind of overwhelmed all the other flavors. Especially the apple that I would’ve really liked to taste more of. [Note: Day 2’s batch was much better without the lemons. And, instead of green apples, I used Fuji apples, which really added to the flavor!]
While juicing, I was wondering if filtering the fibers from the juice itself really did anything. Aren’t these fibers good for you? Don’t they contain most of the nutrition? What nutrients are you getting if you’re separating these two?
And, the vegetables that don’t contain that much juice—are we really getting the benefits from those? Like parsley. What juice is there in parsley? I’m pretty sure whatever there was of parsley in the juice was just the aroma and the flavor.
My view three times a day for the next three days.
The order that I drank it all in was the typical BPC order: Green, PAM, Green, Lemonade, Green, Cashew Milk.
Days 2 and 3 varied a little in that sometimes I didn’t drink the lemonade or all of the cashew milk.
The first day wasn’t that bad. I wasn’t even hungry until maybe 2-3 PM. But, I did crave food all throughout the day, unsurprisingly. It really makes you realize how much you think about food throughout the day. Especially when you can’t have any of the food. Angry Michelle.
The second day was pretty bad. It was basically torture hump day. I woke up starving. It was rainy. Basically nothing productive happened at all today. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to transition out of busy college life and into stagnant unemployed life, but I felt like my whole day revolved around trying to complete this cleanse. I couldn’t really focus on anything but the restaurants across the street when I went to the library, I just wanted to lie in bed and read trashy romances. Then again, when do I not want to do that?
Was severely tempted on day 2 because my family when for 1/2 off really good local wings. Wings are probably near the top on the list of favorite foods. I told them to bring some home for me… even though they’d have to sit there for 2 days before I can eat them. Whatever. Worth it.
As to how the juices tasted…
Ok, but let’s talk about the lemonade. Probably my least favorite juice. On day 1, I used way way too much cayenne and had to throw half of it away. The first half I tried letting the cayenne sediment settle on the bottom and drink as much of the non overly-cayenned parts at the top. But even that was too hard. When the recipe calls for 1/2 tsp, use discretion and just do a pinch!
The consistency of the cashew milk threw me off a little. I know, I know, it’s homemade so I shouldn’t be complaining. The flavor was alright, but it wasn’t what everyone raved about. And by the end of the day, I wanted something savory, not another sickly sweet drink. I swear, this cleanse is going to give me diabetes.
I don’t know if anyone else experienced this but I got so cold drinking all these juices. Yes, summer, I know you’re there. Maybe it’s just because I haven’t had anything that’s been cooked? Maybe because my body is finally using fat storages that it can’t keep me warm? No idea.
3 weeks later…
So I completely forgot about this post and left it just sitting there, which is probably why this is so disorganized. I apologize. But after day 3, I regret diving straight into food. My stomach had shrunk during the process and I grew intolerant for any kind of fatty food. Honestly, I felt a little worse eating fried stuff after the cleanse than during the cleanse and it made me wonder what it would’ve been like if I’d gone a week like this. Maybe I was just reaching the point of recovery (because there was so much shit in my body) that I wasn’t able to feel the effects?
Also, my small stomach has definitely stuck with me since then. Sweet!