Saying YES to a Coworker party: CHECK
Saying YES to what was at first an incredibly awkward party: CHECK
I’m sorry if this reads like a journal. I’m not exactly sure how much to share on blogs. Feedback? Comment below!
Megan was looking for something to do—I was too but I said I was Yes Woman, I never said I was the Initiator—and our more popular close-acquaintance, Luke, invited us over to (and I quote) “chill” because he wasn’t feeling like going out. Why not. It’s evident that the entire campus is going somewhere tonight and reading to myself with candles and wine is sounding more grandma by the second.
We arrive. He isn’t there. His flatmate James, on the other hand, was there along with his own small gathering. It’s evident that they’ve been pregaming for a while.
Precursory note: Megan is not the type of person I usually hang out with mostly because despite being gorgeous, she is one of the least self-aware person I have ever met. This makes for a lot of unintentional awkwardness and a lot of self-centeredness.
I pull out this face..
Megan, on the other hand, stares gorgeously around the bar table. This poor guy, a tie between former cross-country elite runner and one of those guys getting stuffed into lockers, trips over all his friends to introduce himself to her.
Instead of taking that as an in to the conversation and overall festivities (I was already hooked into some trivial thing about St. Patty’s Day weekend), she turns to me and asks me if I want to go to the balcony. Occupation: 0.
But after the initial hurdles and after Luke arrives… and a shit ton of drink was consumed, things went fine. Reconnected with some people, met some new people. Met this guy, let’s call him Teddy Bear Hipster—I’ll let you grab your imaginations and run—who invited me to Shitty Movie Mondays. Usually starring, dun dun dun, Nicolas Cage!
Yes Woman is perking up already. Maybe I should name my Yes Woman alter-ego. One word is better than two.
At work, this almost-friend who coincidentally lives two doors down, told me she could drive me to this party this guy on staff was hosting at his house. A hot tub buffet party. BYOB.
The combination of those words should be illegal.
Not only was it a HOT TUB BUFFET PARTY, but she raved about how he was actually an amazing cook.
Also notice how I did not say “invited.” No, he (Thomas) invited basically everyone who works at the restaurant. Like printed out invitations. Saw him multiple times on Sunday, never received an invitation.
But she tells me it’s cool. And after a few wavering decisions, I decide to go. Already, I have a lot of worries, obviously.
- Bikini body ready (hell no!)
- Actually being invited
- If people are nice enough to not be too exclusive and give me a chance
Why the hell not, I decided, I have nothing to lose. It’s a chance to meet potential awesome people… or get to know who my coworkers really are. And maybe open myself up to a bunch of other parties later on this summer.
As for my bikini body, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have this body for quite a while and if people are going to judge, I will give them hell; Thomas is quite nice and I think he doesn’t hate me; I was preparing myself for a lot of exclusivity and worse comes to worse I can just laugh and eavesdrop.
As we drive there (the two girls that gave me a ride are best friends so it was a lot of listening to them—they’re hilarious—and laughing) and pull up to the driveway, I realize that I’m not nervous like I usually am. I don’t feel awkward and I don’t have the jitters. Maybe I’m getting better at this confidence thing. I’m like an Awkward Penguin in disguise.
In completely new situations, as much as I want to say that I immediately pull out witty ol’ me, I don’t. First of all, I have no idea what kind of funnys these guys dig, so I might as well observe. I didn’t really have any high expectations—I just wanted to get through things without making awkward eye contact. The one that says “you should be saying something, why aren’t you saying something???”
But it was completely fine. In huge groups like that, everyone knows that only the strongest, loudest people are going to talk for the majority of the time. So I was content to give up my usual loud mouth for some observational time.
I’m glad I went though—to both! The key thing for both parties was to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Understand that there’s always the first awkward hour to tough through and as long as you’re in the middle of all the action, people are usually open to talking to other people. No one likes just standing there in silence so chances are both of you are grasping at conversational straws. Or, way easier, the dance floor!
Saying yes to these situations and opening myself up to potentially horrible disaster has definitely made my summer less boring already. And if anything did go wrong, I’d still have something to write about!
A few questions:
- Too detailed? Too rambly? Too boring? Please tell me!
- What’s one time you embraced your Yes Person? Are you glad you did it?