So I’m a pretty embarrassing person in general.
Like this one time (that I never really told you guys) where, after filling up my water bottle, took a huge swig. As I made hard eye contact with a stranger-boy passing by, I pulled the water bottle from my lips only to have my gum go with. There I was, in the middle of a hallway making complete eye contact with a stranger and I was doing Lady-and-the-Tramp with my water bottle and a piece of gum.
I don’t know why I considered things like that to feel less awkward here—maybe because I expected to have more moments like this? But more moments in an already awkward setting = really awkward. Which is great for laughs!
I’ve only been here 2 days and there’s been too many of these moments. Let’s take a little stroll down comedy lane.
- Introduced myself to (stalked) this girl down the hall when I heard her move in and speaking English. Debated on doing this for roughly half an hour because I didn’t want to become dependent and clingy just because she spoke English. Running on 2 hours of sleep for the 26 hours of travel, I said something like “Hi! Come by any time. But I will probably be asleep” and peaced. Probably from her life. Forever.
- After waking up, sheets drenched in sweat because it is still summer here, I staggered to the Carrefour connected to a mall across the street. I then grabbed some hand food (after realizing that the dorms did not provide kitchen utensils like they said) and held up an entire line when the lady demanded that I go weigh the bananas. Apparently you do that for the fruits and vegetables here. And the machine you weigh it on prints out this pretty little label for you. #embarrassing.
- Stood in two lines that took about an hour each. Achieved nothing. Only stuck it out for one line. When I reached the counter, the lady saw me struggling with French and quickly switched to English. Then to miming because I couldn’t understand her English. Didn’t even get the things I had to because I didn’t have the necessary information.
Tip: bring passport, spare passport photos, housing information, and RIB wherever you go when you’re trying to get something done.
- Made grand gesture of taking DSLR out to photograph La Bastille only to realize I forgot all my SD cards at home. Put it away shamefully.
- Purposefully dehydrated myself to the brink of another heat stroke because I was anxious about the bathroom situation. I can’t remember the last time I was fully hydrated, which is bad because I usually need to drink a gross amount of water. But the price of that is having to always know where a bathroom is, easy enough in America, land of the free bathrooms, but in France you have to pay per use.
- After miraculously finding a gross, BUT FREE bathroom at La Bastille, I stumbled LITERALLY into a park. I did the embarrassing model stumble until I gave up and embraced the fall. I heard someone exclaim surprisedly something along the lines of concern and turned to make yet more eye contact with cute French boy who smiled and walked away. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me either LOL.
I hope we both see fewer of these occasions, but we all know that it’s only going to increase with time.