So I was asking my almost-18-year-old brother for advice on my nonexistent love life. It’s a little sad now that it’s out in the open. Let’s just put it this way: if we both got into the relationships we’re veering towards—him more so than me—we’d both be entering our first serious relationships.
You heard me correctly. I won’t get into it now—or maybever… unless you guys are really interested.
Of course, I take everything he says with a grain of salt because, come on, he’s only 17 and some things don’t translate. Like how alcohol tends to confuse various actions that, if sober, would actually mean something. Let’s not pretend you don’t know what I mean.
Anyways, we got onto the topic of humor. Mainly, I told him that I wanted someone who was at least as funny as I am. Because I think I’m pretty damn funny.
He told me it was very guy-like of me to try to seduce people with my humor. Because that’s what guys use to get the girl.
Him: It’s like this. Humor is like having candy to attract flies—
Me: Flies?! You couldn’t have used butterflies or unicorns or anything?
Him: STOP INTERRUPTING. Ok, so we have candy to attract the flies.
Me: … Ok…
Him: It would be like trying to attract a fly that already has candy!
Him: Why are you laughing so hard?
Moral of the story is: talk to my brother more. Even if his advice is
hopefully somewhat narrow-minded. Don’t be a fly with candy.