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How Not to be a Dick When Eating Out

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I’m going to go on a waitress/waiter rant—one that would’ve actually helped me a lot before becoming a server at a restaurant because now I feel guilty for all the times I was a dick about tipping.

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(c) allaboutcabo

Although I’ve had a myriad of customers, there are generally two ways to categorize them: those who get it and those who do not. I was Camp Oblivious and now I’m Camp Ashamed.

The general rule is this: unless your waiter/waitress has been sucking ass at their job, you tip them 15% or more. Always. If they completely rocked it, you should give them 20% or more. I’m serious here.

Do you want to know why?

For servers, there isn’t anything like minimum wage. If a server is receiving minimum wage from their restaurants, that’s almost 3X more than what a typical server makes per hour. Some restaurants don’t even provide an hourly wage—it’s pure commission. I’ve had slow restaurant days where I would leave with $22 for the 5-6 hour shift that I just put in. That’s barely $5/hour. 

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On top of making most of our money through tips, we have to take out the little that we do make for tip-out. What is tip-out? Glad you asked. Hosts, kitchen people, and bussers (the people that clean and clear your table after you leave) also get a certain percentage of our tip based on sales for my particular restaurant. Some restaurants base it on tips, which would be nice.

Our restaurant takes 2% of total sales: the amount that customers spent on the restaurant, pre-tip. Say you have a $400 net total of sales. That means $8 are taken away from what I made in tips. If my customers were generally bad that day (this happens) and only tipped an average of 10% ($40), that means I walk away with only $32 that day. Again, for a 5-6 hour shift, that went from $8/hr to $5-6/hr.

I’m one of the lucky college students: I have financial backing. However, many others are depending on your tip to pay mortgage, feed themselves, and afford their textbooks.

I used to be upset when sitting at a packed restaurant and our server would let 10 minutes pass before attending our table. Now, no. I understand that a server can have up to 7 tables. At the same time. Sure, some of these tables may only have 1 or 2 customers sitting there, but it isn’t uncommon for a server to have a party of 8 or more on top of their other tables (which may or may not also contain large parties).

Waitress How Not to be a Dick When Eating Out

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And we have to look like this all the time even though you may be a huge douche.

Don’t give us snappy remarks about how it’s been 5 minutes since we’ve walked past your table and you’ve been waiting on a drink. Look around you first. If it’s packed, your server is probably busy running food, the bill, or taking orders from another huge-ass table. If it’s not, then you can question them.

A friend of mine was serving for a table of 10 once and was taking orders in a clockwise direction. By the time she reached the last person, who was sitting next to the first person, the first person asked her rudely why his food hadn’t arrived yet. What?? She’s been taking orders for your table, dumbass, she hasn’t had time to get whatever you want yet!

Another common thing that happens is a misplacement of blame. No one is to blame. Servers are not the ones that prepare your food. We just deliver it to your table when it’s ready to be served—usually when everyone’s food is ready. If it seems like you’ve been waiting for your food for the longest time, it’s not because your server’s just letting it sit under some heating lamps to torture you. It’s genuinely because your food is not ready yet. Either the restaurant is insanely busy and the cooks are swamped with food orders or someone in your party was that person and had to order the one thing on the menu that takes 5 hours to cook.

Same with drinks! If you’re there later in the night and you’re like “dude, it takes 2 seconds to make a margarita” think again. Restaurants generally work on a first-come, first-serve basis. If you took 5 hours to order, don’t you dare tell them to speed things up because those 2 hours of indecision put you 500 spots down on the order list. If you’re in a rush, come in knowing what you want. The internet these days is a wonderful place. Most menus are already online!

And another thing: keep your fights at home. Serving is already awkward enough since we’re basically spying on you the whole time in case you need anything, but witnessing a family disintegrating before our eyes just takes the cake.

So the next time you go out to eat, remember this: be understanding and tip your servers well! 

We sure would appreciate this icon smile How Not to be a Dick When Eating Out

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Chicken Shawarma for the Lazy-Ass College Student

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Let’s face it: in college, ain’t nobody got the time to prepare food that takes longer than 30 minutes MAX. And I was hardcore jonesing for some chicken shawarma the other day (I swear, it’s gotten popular only because of “The Avengers”) and I really wanted The Shiksa’s Chicken Shawarma Recipe.

Chicken Shawarma 640x480 Chicken Shawarma for the Lazy Ass College Student

(c) The Shiksa

I mean look at that, how can you not want that?! So I looked in my fridge. Nope, the chicken breasts that I bought were still frozen. [Side note: why has no one told me how long meat takes to unfreeze?? Even when I move it from the freezer to the normal fridge section, it would take like 2-3 days. You have to submerge it in lukewarm water if you want it to unfreeze within 5 hours.]

Then, I remember I keep frozen pre-grilled chicken stocked in the freezer (real cooks, don’t judge. we’re college kids).

30 minutes later, I was biking down the street to class with a Chicken Shawarma wrap in my hand. Wonderful.

Here’s how I did it: 

First, make sure you have all the ingredients you want stuffed into a large pita of your choice. For me, I had red bell peppers, onions, hummus, and romaine lettuce in addition to the chicken. Oh, and of course a shawarma spice mix I bought in an ethnic grocery store. This is probably the most important ingredient because without it, you don’t… have… shawarma.

Of course, you could always follow the spice mix on The Shiksa but… that will add 5-10 minutes on this process. Adults, you have time. Don’t be lazy asses.

  1. Heat the chicken in the microwave, the way you normally do it. Unfortunately, I had pre-seasoned, pre-grilled chicken so avoiding some of that italian marinade was difficult. I think it added some complexity to my creation though so no big.
  2. Chop the chicken into bite sized pieces. This will allow the spices to permeate most of the way through—enough to fool your tastebuds.
  3. Next, heat a tbsp of olive oil on medium heat in a pan (what type of pan really doesn’t matter). Then put the chicken you just heated up and sprinkle as much spice as you want on that bad boy. I really like spices so I went overboard and used 2 tbsp. You’re probably fine with 1 tbsp depending on how much chicken you have.
  4. Stir it up. The kitchen should start to smell amazing. Mine smelled like Italian-Mediterranean fusion. It was still pretty amazing. Stir until the chicken starts browning.
  5. Then, take it out and dump it into your pita. I usually like spreading the hummus on beforehand. This gives it a nice even spread. Make sure you can still roll up your pita. Don’t stuff it up too much.

And there you have it! Quick and easy Chicken Shawarma. Culinary gods, please understand.

Screen Shot 2013 06 06 at 6.12.24 PM Chicken Shawarma for the Lazy Ass College Student

Also, I’m writing this a week ahead of time because by the time you read this, I’ll be at Bonnaroo. Hopefully I’m having a good time…

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Throwback: Swiss Alps

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I just remembered that I never really wrote about my trip to Europe last summer. Only a few posts here and there. And then I came across Ashley’s throwback post and decided to start a series leading up to my departure to France.

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The alps has a special place in my heart. During the 3 weeks abroad in which we also visited Paris, Venice, Rome, Bruegges, and Belgium, this was by far my favorite place. Look at these photos. They all look photoshopped and surreal. And I’m an amateur photographer. The place is just that beautiful. 

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Can you blame me?
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We came here after Venice and Rome. I loved Venice because it’s such a romantic city. Traveling by water, walking everywhere—that’s the stuff. But in Rome, I wasn’t all that impressed. Even though I love exploring different cultures and places, I realized that I was a nature girl. The sheer beauty of the environment in the alps, the pace of life there, and the simple pleasures were just the things for me.

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My brother cooling off from our hike down the mountain. I wouldn’t mind seeing this view for the rest of my life..

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There was this one cave exploration place in the nearby city that we went to. A couchsurfer I met on the train ride to the city we were staying in recommended this to us. And it did not disappoint. I’m not sure where it was, but it was basically sights of 9 waterfalls. Look at that.

Sigh, you will always be in my dreams, alps. Until we meet again..

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6 Types of People Who Work in Foodservice

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I’ve been working in food service for about 4 years on and off now. Mostly because it’s one of the easiest and most profitable jobs to get into to make some extra on the side. Yes, I have to clean up after people’s nasty eating habits (seriously, have you never learned to eat? Or to color within the lines? Eating on a plate is kind of the same thing). And I’ve learned that there are a few personalities I always encounter in the business. 

Waitress 6 Types of People Who Work in Foodservice

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  • Powertripper
    Personally, this person pisses me off a lot. I don’t know if these people play manager in the same way I used to pretend I was a boy because they think they have seniority, because they lack control in other aspects of their sad lives, or because they just like going on power trips, but they always piss people off.  Especially if their pretend-manager status actually lands them the actual manager status. Known for their casually, almost-politely phrased sentence that actually means “do this, bitch.” If you feel like you’re being watched, you probably are because this ass is constantly watching you so that when you mess up, they can pounce and prove their superiority (this goes double if you guys are within 5 feet of a manager/owner).
  • Lazy Ass
    For some reason you cannot comprehend, these people are still employed not only by the restaurant but in general. They do absolutely nothing except the bare minimum. The word “teamwork” is completely lost on them unless they need a favor (“Hey, can you help me clean up this massive shit I took on the floor? I’m busy running food to my one customer at my only table. Thanks so much!”). Usually the last one to clock in, first one to clock out—leaving you and your other coworkers with all the work they claimed to have done for closing but actually just put on their sheet so they could leave. You receive texts from the Lazy Ass saying “OMG, I feel really sick today! Can anyone take my shift 30 minutes from now?“ so often that the millisecond before you check your phone, you feel like you’re actually popular.
  • The Overachiever 
    If this person wasn’t so busy covering for the Lazy Ass, you’d hate them for making you look bad all the time. The status quo existence of the Overachiever and the Lazy Ass makes every restaurant running like a well oiled… kitchen. The Overachievers think they’re just doing their job when really they’re raising the standards for all of the other employees. What the fuck?! No matter though, thankfully because they think this, their work usually goes unnoticed by upper management—perfect time for you to swoop in and take all the credit!
  • Old Person
    There’s always this one person significantly older that’s slumming it with the rest of the regular staff. And no, they aren’t a manager. Either their going through a major mid-life crisis in which the past 40 years of life experience now count for absolutely nothing or that this restaurant is just yet another stop in a long resume of restaurants—for some reason they’ve relocated cities. The first kind I usually question because the ones I’ve met have all been huge pathological liars (“Oh, this is just something I’m doing on the side on top of my Ph.D dissertation and the business that I own”). The second kind are generally pretty chill and are also a recognized overachiever. But for them, that’s just normal achieving because this is their profession, bro.
  • Newly Promoted
    These people are newly promoted and are in that awkward transition phase from being “one of the guys” to “I can fire you if you look me wrong—but wait, I kind of want to be the cool manager too… Don’t leave me out of social activities please.” Like the new teachers you sometimes experienced in junior high, these people can be freakishly bipolar. They’ll be ridiculously strict one moment and then uncomfortably lax the next. No idea whether it’d be better for them to act as everyone’s friend or actually do their job right, they yo-yo (like my college weight) for an ungodly amount of time before settling into normal manager status.
  • The couple 
    There is always a couple—or two incestuously close people—that work every shift together. And, with the universe’s blessing, they also work every single shift with you! Now, on top of the rude customers and whiny babies, you get to be slapped repeatedly in the face with the reminder that you are, and will forever be, alone. Who cares if seeing them touch reminds you of the last time another human being touched you willingly (grabbing a stranger’s hands in desperation does not count)? You’re famous at your local movie theater—known as the lady who brings her cats with her because she doesn’t even have friends. Beat that, soul mates.

Of course, the food service industry is extremely large and to cover all the typical people who work in it would be suicidal. But these are the most common types that I’ve encountered.

Are there any typical personalities you keep encountering in your profession? What are some of the best (and worst) kinds? 

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EVEN IF IT’S THUNDERSTORMING WE’RE GOING TUBING

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I know 3 things from this weekend:

  • My friends from Chicago visited me in rinky-dink Ann Arbor 
  • It was one of the rainiest Memorial Day Weekends ever
  • Bucket List Item: Tubing: Completed

This will basically be a wordful explanation of Wednesday’s Wordless Wednesday post. On the same day 2 friends (along with one friend’s awkward ex-boyfriend-yet-still-close-friends) arrived in Ann Arbor, the 4 day on/off storm started.

The one day I saw a hint of sun, I grabbed them to go tubing. Note: I will not be showing any bikini pics not because I’m shy, but because I didn’t want to get water damage. You can thank me in the comments for saving your sight for another day. Die another day.. 

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The trail we blazed to get to the boat/canoe/tube rental place.

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not mine.

I swear, the minute we signed the release forms, the rain started coming down. Now I’m the type of person that, after paying, will try to make the most out of my hard-earned money. Even if that meant tubing in a thunderstorm.

Turning to look at my friends, I could see on their faces that they were of the same mind.

“I DON’T CARE IF IT’S TORNADO-ING WE ARE GOING TUBING!” we all said.

Once we got in though, it was a different story.

“HOLY CRAP IT’S FREEZING. OH MY GOD.”

We also realized that the website made “the cascades” sound way more exciting than it was. The website showed us this picture:

webnellytube EVEN IF ITS THUNDERSTORMING WERE GOING TUBINGAnd, I mean, it was like that with like a 500 feet gulf in between of stagnant, even circular water. I spent more time splashing and rocking around trying to get to the next rapid that I pretty much emerged 50 pounds lighter.

I wish it was more like a lazy river ride. A friend and I made our local river into one last summer and it was perfect… even when we drifted under one of the largest roads in town, clearly in sight of all the passing cars.

Regardless, it was actually a very beautiful niche within Ann Arbor though. But I think next time, I’d prefer the 1.5 hour canoe ride from one park to the other.

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Afterwards, since we worked up enough appetite to run a small restaurant out of business, we went to Ann Arbor’s prized Zingerman’s to pick up dinner.

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First things first: look at that creeper in the window. I know you’re old but do you really need to stand so close that you’re literally breathing down her neck? Or that one in the door window.

And then we swung by Washtenaw Dairy for some donuts where we happily learned that a half-dozen is $3.50. Good thing it’s a drive away from my house—at least I’m telling myself that—otherwise I’d be having a dozen every week.

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